Babies Eating Lemons

I'm sure we can all agree that the inner workings of our precious life force, and the complexities of the universe are all virtually impossible to understand and may actually never be understood by human beings in our time on earth. On the other hand, there are things pretty much anyone with at least one brain cell and taste bud can comprehend and that is the fact that lemons are sour. Well, all except for stupid babies. Even a dog can smell a lemon and know it probably doesn't taste good. But a stupid baby? As you can see here, stupid babies can't even grasp that tiny little fundamental nugget of truth.

It's funny because it's on a t-shirt

The only thing more annoying than a stupid baby is a self-aware stupid baby. Especially one that adorns itself in an ironic or novelty t-shirt. "Oh, get it?! It's funny because it's something a baby would never say!" Um. yeah, except they are saying it because it's on their fucking t-shirt. Babies may be stupid, but they're smart enough to play on their "poor, defenseless" shtick for attention. In fact, stupid babies will pretty much do anything for attention regardless of how much dignity they have to sacrifice or who they have to humiliate in the process. Remember that.

Consider the Lobster

One of the many problems I have with stupid babies, is that they have no fucking dignity. Take this pathetic sight for example: not only has this idiotic infant allowed himself to be adorned to the gayest degree in a full body lobster costume, he's been tossed in a pot, paraded around by a guy in a chef's outfit and photographed for the world to see; an act of stupidity committed to celluloid on display for all eternity.

Just look at his face. What's going on in that stupid baby noggin' of his? Well, I'll tell you. Either he knows exactly what's going on and milking it for all the attention... or he's too fucking dumb to have any clue what the hell is happening and is just as amused by the flash of the camera as the fact that he's wearing a fucking lobster outfit. Either way: inexcusable.

No Child Left Behind

Adults catch a lot of shit in this country, often taking the blame for our stupid children and their low test scores and what not. Well, the problem has to start somewhere and I propose it starts with stupid babies who don't give a shit about preschool. Take this tiny idiot for example: probably stayed up all night coloring outside the lines, Leggoing, or watching Veggie Tales or some shit. Come school time, she doesn't even have the smarts or decency to curl up in the corner out of sight. Or maybe her brain is so liquified from hours a day of Nick Jr. she doesn't even know that cubby hole isn't a pillow.

Configula

Look at this gluttonous little lump of shit, will you? Stupid babies are notorious for peeing, pooping and even puking wherever they see fit, expecting us responsible adults to clean up the mess. This little asshole, named for his resemblance to Confucius and Caligula, was caught clearly in the act, not only whizzing all upon himself, but probably in a sanitary swimming pool where clean, self-respecting people are trying not to swim through someone else's urine.